/> a mother's heart » Blog Archive » plugging along

We are paring down like crazy.  Things that have been not-oft-used or won’t be needed to live in an apartment are being sold or given away left and right.  And yet, there’s still much to pack.  Or at least, it feels this way.  I’m grateful for friends who are willing to help and I’ve not been in a such a place where I don’t mind asking for help before.  I’m usually a fiercely independent person who would rather do things on her own, but this is so much bigger than me that for once, I’m in a place where I’m okay asking for help.

I’m trying to say my goodbyes while I can and realize that no matter how permanent this move seems, our close friendships will last.  I can’t imagine my life without seeing Ashley at least once a week (if not more), but I suspect we’ll be doing some Skype or other video chatting regularly.  Of course, texting and Facebook will keep us in touch with our friends here.

I was musing about how bittersweet this move is – we’re excited for the potential and after last week’s drama, we have NO question that Arizona is where we are supposed to be.  My friend Carrie shared wisdom and beautiful words from CS Lewis; she reminded me that if we didn’t have authentic, real community here, it wouldn’t hurt to leave.  The choice is between safety and risk – the risk pays out much more than choosing safety, but there’s pain with risk.  I think the payout is worth the pain – altogether worth it.  The community cultivated here reminds me of the good in this world that we get to experience when we allow ourselves to emotionally invest and let down our masks.  As someone said recently, “If you show your mask, you don’t get the love from people:  your mask does.”  And so in building our community, we’ve let down our masks; now we’re reaping the love in heaps.

I know that with intentionality and a determination to avoid using our masks, we’ll build community out there, too, and it will be sweet.  There’s hope in that and excitement for the “new thing” that God is doing.  In the meantime, I’m up to my elbows in tissues to dry my tears, packing tape to seal my boxes, and love from those around me.

I’m a blessed woman.

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  • Ashley

    Hmmm…I love you.