/> a mother's heart » Blog Archive » where i am

So this started out with getting sick and then morphed in to “holy cow! we’re job-hunting!” and I’m about to get back to writing regularly.

But today, I spent time on the phone and with Google Maps and this is where both my heart & head are: Itsukaichi, Japan. My mom & I found our old house on Google and …wow.

Even after all these years, I miss it. I get weepy when I think about it. I don’t understand it – at all – except to say that I think it got in to my soul. It’s strange and means nothing to anyone except my mom & me, but I cannot let this pass without a screenshot capture from Skitch.  Feel free to click on the image for a full-size version – it links to my Flickr account.

It was painstaking to find the right spot, and it’s definitely grown up over the years, but some things, like the scarcity of land in Japan and how we know a driving range hasn’t moved and how the elementary school is still there, helped me hone in on the location.

And as we talked, my mom told me of taking a taxi to the top of the highest mountain in Hiroshima on our last day there (we were in school) and telling the driver that it was our last day – and then standing atop the mount, surveying the whole city, and crying. She didn’t want to leave. We had to – my grandfather was dying – but if he hadn’t been, we probably would have stayed close to another year. The taxi driver thought it was great – we were going to America! – but she didn’t want to leave, and neither did I.

So this necessarily led to the perusal of other pictures of the area online and I’ve spent most of the afternoon/evening in a weepy state, missing a place I’ve not seen in decades. I don’t understand it, except that I think I left part of my soul in Asia.

I’m told it happens fairly regularly for those who visit and/or live there for any length of time. So at least I’m normal. But wow – maudlin, too.


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Category: life musings
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  • Carrie Shumaker

    I understand, partly. Sounds like you lived in Japan for longer than I’ve lived abroad, but…I’ve left parts of my soul in other countries too. Though the longing for the place never goes away…even if we know that isn’t where we need to be, now…and that is uncomfortable, I think it enriches us somehow.