/> a mother's heart » Blog Archive » the challenge – speak up!

So last week, the originator of The Challenge gave us the week off.  This week, she encourages us to pick up where we left off – but to do so vocally.  :)

Many times, women enter in to marriage with the idea that if they drop subtle hints, their husbands will pick up on them.  I don’t know about you, but that has *never* worked for me.  😉

Men, for all of the reasons we love them, rarely pick up on subtlety and despites culture’s say-so that they are lovers full of prowess, they often (admittedly) guess at what makes us purr.  If you don’t speak up, your husband will not know what makes you tick (for the most part).  And many men will admit to finding one thing that works for their wives (such as ‘a+b=c’) and then using that over and over … and over.  This is not to say that repetition is a bad thing, but if you want your husband to explore a bit more and figure out new things, you’re going to have to let him know how, where, and when.  Which entails speaking up.

Do it gently and sweetly – but if you’ve been faking it, STOP!  Faking it doesn’t help your husband or you – and it only builds a case for deception, hurt feelings, and resentment as time goes on.  You and your husband might even create code words for your romps – or find that using steamier language is something that works for the two of you. 

But you’ll never know until you loosen your tongue and speak up.  If you do, you won’t regret it – I promise. 


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