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19
Oct

I am holding half an acre

Torn from the map of Michigan

Enfolded in this scrap of paper

Is the land I grew in…

If you don’t recognize these words, you probably don’t know who Hem is. I’ve just recently discovered the group and enjoy their melodic folk singing–it’s beautiful, mellow, and relaxing to me. Which I guess is the indication of my age…? You would probably recognize the melody if you watch any TV commercials, as Liberty Mutual Insurance is using a snippet of this song as background music. :)
Anyhow, I’ve been reflecting on the lyrics of the song and how much it mirrors my heart.

Think of every town you’ve lived in

Every room you’ve laid your head

And what is it that you remember?

Yep, that’s me. Born in Ann Arbor, lived in Canton (MI), Dexter (MI), Melbourne (Australia), Itsukaichi (Japan), Harper Woods (MI), Livonia (MI), Wilmore (KY), and Nicholasville (KY). The memories are fast and furious–some happy, some sad…all of which went in to making me who I am today.

Do you carry every sadness with you?

Every time your heart was broken?

Every night the fear and darkness

Lay down with you…?

I used to do just this. Now, though, I’ve released the hurtful memories and don’t let them poison me or my mind any longer. It’s water under the bridge and I focus on what’s ahead (sometimes to my detriment). I do struggle with the ability to live in the “now” because I have such hopeful anticipation for what “will be.” But that’s my personality and burden.

A man is walking on the highway

A woman stares out at the sea

And light is only now just breaking

So we carry every sadness with us

Every time our hearts were broken

Every night the fear and darkness

Lay down with us

That is a good portion of what I try to do with my life. The propensity of human nature is to grasp and hold on to the familiar, even if it’s negative. The struggle is to release it and not keep it as our comfort and friend. So part of my journey is helping others to release the fear and darkness that they carry to One Who can carry it much more effectively, thereby freeing them to enjoy what He’s given us in our lives–in the present.

I am holding half an acre

Torn from the map of Michigan

I am carrying this scrap of paper

That can crack the darkest sky wide open

Every burden taken from me

Every night my heart unfolding

I am home

And that is where I am right now. Although we are excited for our move to the northern climes of our country (Michigan, specifically), I also recognize that our day-to-day existence will be pedestrian, just like our lives in Kentucky. I’m going to continue to fight the Clutter Battle with my boys, continue to homeschool, continue to do chores. I will still have bad-kid days (like yesterday!), and dinner still won’t cook itself. But this is also a fulfillment of a dream and vision, and there’s a part of me that resonates with the last few lines of the song. This is home to me. And no matter what happens, this will always be home. There is comfort in that, just as there’s comfort in knowing that you can predict the sun rising in the east and setting in the west.

If you haven’t found “home” yet or haven’t made it back, I hope you do. I hope you find the place of fulfillment that permits you to be yourself and to do what you’re supposed to do with your life.

Now back to the mundane of a child who’s pitching a fit. 😐.

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Category: life musings
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