/> a mother's heart » Blog Archive » how can be it?

“How can be it?” was the twisted-mantra of my beloved niece, Emily Grace. She passed in to the arms of Jesus 11 months ago today. And today I have to ask “how can be it?” that it’s been 11 months that we’ve endured her absence.

The pain is just as real today as it was that horrible October 15 last year. I am grieving deeply, still, and picked up the phone this morning to hear my sister crying. :( I was worried that something terrible had happened again, but it was “only” a bad day for her. I say “only,” because although it’s better than having something horrible happen again, the pain is not negated by it being an “only.”

It just doesn’t seem real, even now. I mean, there’s a part of me that knows it’s real. When I opened my craft-closet door last fall and saw the matching dresses I bought for Katie & Emily and realized that Emily would never receive it…that was real. When I’m working on baby Noah’s blanket and buying yarn for one to give to Katie and not Emily, that’s real. But when I think about the reality of her absence, it goes back to being ‘unreal’ to me. How could we possibly be surviving this nightmare? And it’s only worse for my sister and her family.

I will grieve her absence openly today, but next month when the anniversary comes, I will honour my niece and her memory. I will celebrate her too-short-life and I will think of the joyous times we had with her and her family. She deserves that, as she’s joyously dancing in the arms of Jesus right now..

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Category: life musings
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

Comments are closed.